implosion.

My body quietly imploded today. Everything set to buzz and wobble. I felt fine when I woke up, when I worked out, when I drove to work. And then, in a room full of people.... everything went squish.

So I have spent the afternoon at home, laying on the couch, contemplating the bizarre inner workings of my person.

I blame it on my fine mind-body-soul intonation. I posit that my weird body blips are a result of too much navel gazing. I notice the very smallest shifts -- like sitting in the backseat of a van. Every curve feels like a complete 180. I get a cold and it feels like cancer.

My breath has been goofy, too. For months now, I have shallow spells -- can't pull air all the way in. It makes me gasp. I don't panic anymore, but it's annoying and uncomfortable. It's not my heart. It's not my sinuses. It's not an allergy. I don't have asthma. My intuitive friend, Mary, says I have a problem with the flow of life. My allergist says I'm anxious. I am watching the news, and oil is spewing into the ocean, and I'm wondering why we aren't all imploding and gasping for air.

I took the day off tomorrow. Monday, too. I may or may not leave my house.