I mean writing, writing. I don't really consider this writing. This is burping sentences. I just wrote a free-write at edit less more. I wrote it with my eyes closed. I don't mean that in the "I'm so great, I could do that with my eyes closed" sense. I mean it in the, "I actually closed my eyes so the room would be dark" sense. Sometimes I just want to free whatever bird is in my cage, and it works better to not look at anything or notice too many colors or light plays.
In general, I think it's best to think as little as possible when I write. Maybe that's what I miss--the not thinking part. Maybe I've been thinking too much and would like to start writing again just to get a little break from my brain.
It's just so much work: It is surprisingly hard work to do so little thinking and so much writing. I keep telling myself that the book hasn't been born yet, because it's still growing a central nervous system, and when it's meant to happen it will happen. It will birth itself, and I will be some kind of doped up womb channeling genius through portholes in my fingertips. But that's such a giant fat lie, I'm embarrassed to even say it. The truth is that it's an excuse to be lazy. Birthing them is one thing, but then you have to clean off all the crud and raise them and teach them to walk and to chew with their mouths closed and to be responsible and make sure they don't swear at their teachers or throw wet towels on the floor. And you have to send them to college and that's expensive. And after all that, they break your heart 1000 times over.
Who needs that crap?
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